Never Dump Your Raw Anxiety on a Human

Why my relationships (and my sanity) are saved by “dumping” on a machine first.

My rule is simple: Never dump your raw anxiety on a human when you can dump it on a machine first.

The machine doesn’t have feelings.

It doesn’t get hurt.

It doesn’t judge you for sounding like a paranoid conspiracy theorist at 11 PM on a Tuesday.

Let’s be honest for a second. The first draft of any thought we have when we are stressed is usually... hot garbage.

It’s emotional shrapnel. It’s defensive. It’s “verbal vomit.”

If I said everything I thought immediately to my business partners, or my team, or my family?

I’d be fired, canceled, and living in a van down under the tri-borough bridge.

Some people will argue that AI will make us all cold and robotic.

But then I saw a comment on my Substack yesterday that completely re-wired my brain:

“How ironic would it be if using large language models actually improves human relationships?”

And I realized: That is exactly what is happening.

I have started using AI as my “Thought Filter.”

Here is the scenario: Something bad happens. A deal falls through. Someone sends a snarky email.

My brain instantly goes into “Defcon 1” mode. I want to lash out. I want to send the angry text. I want to spiral.

In the old days, I would have dumped that spiral on the person standing next to me. Now? I dump it on the AI.

I open ChatGPT or Gemini and I type: “I am furious about X. Here is my raw, unfiltered, crazy-person reaction. Process this for me. Tell me what I’m actually afraid of, and draft a response that isn’t insane.”

I let the machine take the hit.

I let the machine organize the chaos.

By the time I’m done typing, the “charge” is gone. The venom is out of my system.

So when I finally turn around to talk to the actual human being in the room? I can be kind.

I can be present.

I can be rational.

I can be kind.

We treat AI like a productivity tool.

We should be treating it like a sanitation plant for our mental waste.

Use the machine to clear the fog.

So you can actually see the person standing in front of you.